13 Apr Not My Plan, But His…
Not My Plan, But His…
“Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that Great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will…”
Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV
Allow me to introduce to you an interesting story in my life. If you’ve read a number of my blogs already, you will know that I’ve struggled with control and perfectionism. Of course, planning has always been a big part of my life. I’ve been made fun of for planning family summer vacations a year in advance (I still think there’s nothing wrong with this). The list goes on and on of the various areas in my life that were controlled by my planning. Within my “Perfect Plan Book”, I had already imagined the steps needed to finish school and get on with my career.
The thing is…God had other plans. I was set to complete my graduate studies in August of 2015. In May of that same year, God was setting a number of things in motion. In hindsight, it all makes sense now. My daughter had been attending part-time Pre-K at a private, Christian school near my home. I wanted her to continue at this school or one similar. I did my research and realized that it would be a good chunk of $$ a year for her to attend. I ended up applying to a start-up school in a local church. It was to be the first academic year that kindergarten students would be accepted. I loved the curriculum and I was very familiar with the church and staff. I figured this was the answer for my daughter.
The moment I handed in the application, I felt wrong. I did not know why. I began to pray seriously about the academic direction for my daughter. Listen, I’m not the most holy, perfect, saint-like person here. But, I do know it is important to pray for our children, even in the areas of academics. So, I continued to pray. I realized that after graduation, my salary would have to be a certain amount to cover my student loans, child care for my son, tuition and perhaps before/after school care for my daughter. It was unrealistic. What was surprising about these calculations was that it was more affordable for my household if I became a SAHM and homeschooled my daughter with Bible-focused curriculum I desired for her.
My husband and I talked and prayed about this decision.
The one thing I absolutely LOVE about my husband is that he is not like me. He is willing to take risks, even if they do not make sense. I prefer all my ducks in a row before making decisions. For me, this decision was scary and a bit frustrating. I had invested so much time and sweat into my degree. I was crossing the finish line. And yet, it felt as if I was going to complete a degree and throw it in the trash. Who graduates from college and decides to be a SAHM?? Is that even normal?
God knew what He was doing in all of this. I was obedient. I chose to tone down my selfishness and focus on God’s desire for my kids. I completed my degree in August. A few short weeks later, I was homeschooling my daughter. And I have not looked back. I know that I am beyond blessed to be able to stay home with my children and guide them in their schooling.
I understand that everyone’s situation and views are different when it comes to their children’s education. I think what matters most is that we allow God into our decision-making process for these precious little treasures. After all, they are the future.