17 Apr Overwhelmed
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
I Peter 5:7 NIV
When my husband and I agreed to homeschool my daughter, we decided to use a Christian online academy for her kindergarten year. I was looking forward to this program, since it was created by my alma mater. I had such a great experience with my studies, so I figured I would be equally satisfied with my daughter’s schooling. I realized that this program was not the best fit for my little one. Also, with only one income supporting the household, I knew it would not be wise to continue another year paying for this program.
Midway through my daughter’s kindergarten year, I began to look for all possible information and resources I could find on how to homeschool, picking out the right curriculum, homeschool groups, co-ops and the list goes on. My mind was spinning from everything I had read. I hadn’t even known from that point the various ways of homeschooling. I was overwhelmed.
You know what, though? God had already been ordering my steps for a long time. For every decision, small or big, I would pray to God for His direction. Some of those decisions did not make much sense. They make sense now…I used to work in my local school district. After the birth of my daughter, I knew I could not return due to the job schedule. So, I prayed. I was specific with the details of what I needed. And God showed me. I’ll never forget my reaction when I realized the door God had me enter would bring about a HUGE pay cut. The wonderful health benefits I had received before would not be available with this next job. I was apprehensive about this choice. It just did not make sense for me to take it. Yet, I knew God was holding this door open for me. It is almost 7 years later that I now understand why He had me walk this path. That job that did not make sense to me was for a position in a Christian homeschooling company. While I only worked there briefly, I was able to connect with the homeschooling side of things and gain important knowledge for where I am now as a homeschooling parent.
Although I was overwhelmed with all of the information I was obtaining on homeschooling, I was brought back to the memory of this previous job. And I calmed down, knowing that God had already known this day would come. I was able to develop a plan for my daughter that would be effective in helping her grow in her studies AND be cost-effective for our household budget.
Knowing my overly planning self, I could very well have given myself an anxiety attack during this time. But, I had to go back to the order of God and remind myself of all those times I had prayed to God for His leading and direction. And I had to continue to trust that if I was following His lead, things would continue to line up.
And they have.