13 Jul Sweet Surrender
My relationship with God is #1 for me. He has been so good to me. Even when I’ve failed miserably, He’s taken my hand and walked with me. He’s shown me the true meaning of compassion, grace and love. I don’t think there is anything that I can say or do that will ever be sufficient in showing Him how much He means to me.
Life has a way of showing us the imperfections of this world, including our own. A simple drive to work can reveal hot tempers. A conversation between two individuals can show lack of discretion. A child’s meltdown at home can bring out ugly responses. This is life. We truly are a hot mess without God. Our everyday lives can EASILY point towards a need for a savior.
Can I say that I’m so thankful the God I live my life for is not the same God painted as a merciless tyrant? He isn’t that condemning voice, quick to pull you down for the fun of it. He doesn’t have a whip in His hand, ready to flog anyone and everyone.
I’ve heard stories of people’s perceptions relating to God that weren’t accurate. I’ve even had my own misperceptions. During my undergraduate studies, I came face to face with an automatic thought I’ve had towards God that was a result of my own doing. It was then that I realized I was living my life trying to do everything “right” in order to please and gain God’s approval. The conviction I had for making even one mistake before God was overwhelming. But, it wasn’t God’s conviction. It was my own. It was difficult for me to accept that God loved me for who I was, not what I could do or how well I could follow the rules.
This was a legalistic mindset I had acquired that was not healthy. And this thought process harmed me more than anything. I couldn’t be flexible with my time unless it had to do with religious events or duties. I couldn’t enjoy a weekend away from church due to special occasions without guilt if there was a comment thrown my way regarding my absence. I was bound by religion and it was my own doing. I placed those shackles on me every time I chose condemnation for myself instead of grace.
I learned that once I stopped putting myself down in the name of religion, I was able to understand the character of this God whom I served. My failures and faults would not take me straight to hell. It would just point me in the direction of my need for God in my life. God never asked for a perfect person in me. He asked for my heart, in all of its imperfection. He asked me to trust His way over mine.
It is sweet. I’m reminded of my surrender to Him through the peace I feel every time I enter my home. When all is going wrong and my sanity remains intact, I’m reminded. When life continues to show my imperfections, I’m reminded…I’m reminded of His loving embrace and direction as I continue to let go of my little world and allow Him to bring me into His greatness.